I think what got me started on this was when a friend I am close to experienced a major loss. His cat died. For some folks, that would be no big deal. For me and others like me, it would be HUGE. For both me and my friend, the cat is our immediate family (though not human nor family of origin). My baby knew the last few days that I was sad, and would sit on me and purr at every opportunity. The vibration from her purrs is so relaxing. She is my companion.
I've taken to telling people that I have two grandkittens (who are now grandcats) not entirely because I'm envious of their children and grandchildren but to indicate that some families look and behave differently. The faith I espouse has a huge emphasis on family. For a long time I struggled with that. Rather than keep feelings inside, I'd say that I felt different because I lacked what they had. Then I'd hear folks saying how I shouldn't feel badly, shouldn't feel different. Wait!! it wasn't me who created the ideal picture! I am not the unit who emphasizes family! As Single folks, we can allow ourselves to be in a position where we see only what we don't have. I refuse to do that any more. I do enjoy my family of origin and love to spend time with them at wedding & receptions, at reunions, etc. However, it hurts because I do not and will probably never have what they do. It does take a week or so to recover from family events - for the lens I'm seeing through to open far enough to see what is in my picture.
next: my picture
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