I'm an Aspie

I've suspected for years, and had it confirmed that I have Aspergers Syndrome. It's not something one can "catch" therefore not a disease and cannot be cured - it must be "managed". Rather than go into long description I include below a link to an excellent source. Finally I'm able to know why life has been as it is.
http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/
So now what do I do with it? I refuse to give in to my impulses to isolate myself - because that's not what I really want. I think most Aspies want to be social, but just can't quite make it. It's much easier to be social with people I have known for a long time - family, longtime friends. I recently tried to have regular Home Evenings with a woman in my Ward, and have found that while I enjoy her sense of humor, she wants to have FHE every week and she doesn't know when to go home. Another non-starter. I have a hard time going to church sometimes, because I'm among people I don't know well. I haven't gone to a ward activity - so that's next on my list of things to try and keep trying.
I do enjoy going places, and usually go by myself - it's actually more fun with someone else, but most of my contemporaries are family people. I would love to be invited to do things with friends or family. I did go to a community "Living Traditions festival " . I had a great time watching a man weave a rug. and watched and asked questions for quite some time. I left when I was ready to leave.
So in terms of managing the "eccentricity" One thing I found within the last year is to copy my brother-in-law and talk to anyone and everyone. That's a keeper. I don't force myself to be social, need to work on that one - rather to put myself in the mood for interaction. I do enjoy doing things for other folks - that remains high on the list. I do go out to lunch with people - that's a keeper. I do talk to lots of people at church, and share garden stuff if I have extra - another keeper. Hmmm I think the list is growing.

Paradigm Shifts

I spend some time this week with a friend I've talked about before - the musician. We talked about where we were in life and what helped us to keep a good perspective. Both of us have been put in positions where life has given us something we didn't ask for.
We look for joy and fulfillment in areas that were previously unexpected. We find other ways (legally and morally acceptable) to practice joyful living. My friend and I took a little time to do some Bible study - and decided to do it again because we have separately come to the decision that we need to share Christ with the people we meet and that we need to understand what others believe in order to reinforce the similarities in our beliefs.
It's very comfy being with someone who understands the importance of family - and who has been in emotional positions similar to those I experience. Happiness - Joy is a choice. Our pets and nieces and nephews and siblings provide great opportunity to share life's joys - and we have great opportunity as singles to create unique places of joy. He as volunteered for years with at-risk youth in county detention, and was telling me how one young man was leaving the facility with whom he shared the need to just remain focused on what he had learned. Months later they met at a local retail outlet and the young man had taken the counsel to heart.
I find there are others in my local congregation who are single and have invited them to have a home evening with me. I don't know if it will be a regular thing, but a number of people seem to look forward to doing something like this. I also have a great time fixing computers and do so for family members and others on a barter system. Being as active physically as I can be is important, and acknowledging my friends and/or making new friends me hace sentir alegre. I'm using "Rosetta Stone" software to learn French and Portugese with the idea of using it with people I meet. I've put my mandolin on the list as well. and doing wood carving.. What else can I add to the list?

Reaching Out

I've rather enjoyed myself the last few months- despite S.A.D. Because of something nagging inside me, and because of the example of a brother-in -law (who hasn't gone to church in years) I've been talking to almost anyone I meet. Not only have I added to my arsenal against S.A.D., but have had some wonderful experiences talking to other people who I learn are people of faith.

Today the proprietor of a small fuel station/convenience store across the street from me. He is definitely Indian (not native American) and Christian. It was wonderful to see the light in his face and his eyes when he talked about Christ and Heavenly Father. reminded me of the scripture which says "have you received His image in your countenance". He believes in a familial relationship between us and Father. The whole conversation was very uplifting for me. I connected on a very elemental level with this older gentleman and I don't know what religion he espouses, but recognize a love for Christ and Father that I hope is evident in me.

I also have a friend who is a real estate agent and broker. I've talked about him before. He's paraplegic, and yet the the most un-handicapped human I have ever met. He owns a few properties locally, and recently one of his tenants told him that he'd lost his job. My friend immediately started organizing a Christmas for the family - calling friends and local businesses for help. I was honored that he included me.

I fear that we as LDS people have no corner on being examples of Christianity. In many cases we may fall far behind. I think that's why my spirit has nagged me into reaching out. I believe we need to become much better at "fellowshipping" I prefer to say caring for our neighbors. Not just at this season but all year. As my new friend at the filling station said We need to celebrate Christ all year"

Allowing changes

I just accepted a friend request on facebook from someone who had been a neighbor growing up. I wasn't sure whether or not to accept the request because of where I was emotionally back then. I'm not sure if it was really true or not, but back then I felt that no one liked me. I didn't have friends, did not feel accepted at school. Many teens feel the same way. I accepted the friend request because I am a different person - not only more self-aware, but more aware that others may feel the same as I. Another reason I hesitated is because of some of the things this person has done criminally prior to now. The reason I accepted is that as a Christian I would visit those who have been imprisoned and befriend them. Which does not mean that I would ever protect them from the legal or moral consequences of their own actions. It is possible that he has truly changed, (whether or not he has remains to be seen) and he deserves friends and the opportunity to demonstrate the person he is now.

Living well or Living Needy

When I started blogging, I wanted to explore a less than perfect place. All of us have them. What we make of them is what determines who we are, and where we get to in life. It is my position that any life has lots of less than desired outcomes - therefore what we make of the situation we land in is more important than the actual outcome.
For instance, I've mentioned exercise. Never has been one of my favorite things to do - just exercise. As a youth, I'd go out and walk a lot, but I had somewhere to go. Never have enjoyed going to a gym or doing exercise at home. So I find a place where I like the setup, like to exercise- and then when I turn up the heat my lower back starts pitchin a fit. Happened several times, but each time, the recovery interval gets smaller. Years ago, I would have quit and did. I'm terrified, however of getting back to the un-condition of years ago. So I keep going, but watch carefully which machines cause trouble. When I find out which one it is, I do plan on using the machine, but just back off a little on the intensity. That way I am in control.

Life After Politics

I had a cat (bagheera) whose moods reminded me of me after the way I felt after listening to all the campaign ads. I got irritated by the attempts to sway by innuendo... which just clouded the water and deflected attention from and prevented discussion of the real issues.

All of campaign at different times in our lives. We seek to win a boyfriend or girlfriend, a raise, a better parking place. How is it that some will take the "high road" and not use language or e-mail designed to appeal only to emotion. Most of us make decisions based only on emotion (I was born a Mericat - I always vote Mericat), some decide after a logical dissection of the issues. If we can, there ought to be study of the issues, a period of evaluation, and consideration and then make our informed emotional decision.

Speaking of the political campaigns, I'm glad they're over. Whether I voted for the winners or not, the outcome is what it is. I'm not going to agree with everything that happens within any candidate's administration, and if I don't agree, it is my right and obligation to speak up.

In spite of the frustrations, the recent national election showed me folks who were gracious in defeat and victory.

Hizzoner

I'm grinning because Hizzoner is coming for a visit. I'd called to tell him I'd voted early, reminding him of the slogan "Vote early and often for Curley" He's always telling me of the delights of politics in the area where he lives. It's quite an entertainment industry, politics in the south.
Anyway, in the course of conversation, he indicated that he was coming for a visit soon - it will have to be before the snow flies, because he's not well suited for driving in snow. I realized that he'd told my cat about his plans several weeks earlier. My Lydia is a scaredy cat and doesn't take well to strangers. My nephew lived with me for a couple of months and she would never let him near. But I digress. During a conversation with Hizzoner, we talked about the scaredy cat and I ended up putting the phone up to her ear. she perked up her big ears and was very attentive to the telephone. when I put the handset back to my ear, Hizzoner was saying something about a visit. He didn't say anything about it to me for another week or so....
casually, tsrlady
addendum: Spoke with Hizzoner after I published the blog. Seems all I have to do to "stir the pot" is to mention a wedding. A family member had put her wedding on hold, and now the wedding is scheduled for tomorrow night. No time for invitations, but I wanted to celebrate with her. I mentioned that I had thought eloping would have been a viable option because the marriage is more than the wedding ceremony. Hizzoner actually handles the subject better than most men I've known. He did stress that the reasons one marries at a young age include having children, and the reasons for marrying later in life were fewer. I think he was talking about HIS reasons. I'm wondering for how long he will be backpedaling.